Oh No, I Know A Dirty Word
by FuckTheRichAndFamous
Summary: "C'mon, princess. I'll teach you a dirty word."
1. It's fun to lose and to pretend

(Authors Note: I have nothing against Courtney Love. I just needed a female antagonist for this story, and so she was useful.)

Kurt Cobain was the **"weird"** kid at the small suburban high school. He had dirty blonde hair that cascaded down to his shoulders, all tangled and messy as though he never washed it, and would always wear dresses. Not slutty dresses, but flowery ones with cute white collars and pink baby doll dresses with lace on the sleeves. Kurt had these beautifully tragic blue eyes that you could see his soul through. Dave Grohl had never really glanced at Kurt more than once. Unlike most other kids in their grade, Dave didn't think Kurt was "weird" or a "f**got". To Dave, the blonde princess was just another kid he saw in the hallways sometimes.

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon. When Dave dropped his pencil and quietly grumbled "Fuck...", Kurt, who now sat directly behind him thanks to a change in the seating chart, suddenly spoke up. "U-uh... t-that's a dirty w-word...", he stammered. Wow... Kurt's voice was fucking adorable, even if he was a prude. Class ended quickly after that, and Dave tapped Kurt on the shoulder, causing the girly boy to jump a bit, the pastel pink and white housewife dress he was wearing floating up a bit so you could just barely see the white panties underneath. Dave got a hard-on. Kurt turned around and looked at Dave with an expression in his eyes of... lust?

"Y-you're...", he managed to stammer. Dave chuckled. "You too, princess." Princess? Kurt liked that name. He smiled, and it was the most adorable thing Dave had ever seen.

"C'mon, princess. I'll teach you a dirty word.", purred Dave, and the two ran down the sidewalk holding hands. "I'll take you somewhere where they'll never be able to find us and judge us." And with that, the two boys headed to an abandoned tool shed.


	2. Our little group has always been

p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;" A few months passed, and soon Dave and Kurt were dating. Their relationship was the perfect balance of sweet and kinky. But all of this would change when the new girl moved to their high school. /p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;" "Who's that?", Kurt asked Dave, pointing at a girl he hadn't seen before who was too busy walking down the hallway and giggling mindlessly with her cheerleader friends to notice him or Dave. "Oh, that's the new chick." Dave played with a strand of his long, caramel-colored hair and rolled his eyes. When Kurt looked a little closer at the girl, he knew why Dave was being so cynical about her. /p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;" She had box-dyed blonde curls that fell to just above her shoulders, bubblegum pink lipstick, and a very... erm, revealing... outfit that showed off her obviously plastic tits. Somehow, as soon as Dave looked at this girl, he knew she was bad news, although he wasn't sure why or how as of yet. Hell, he didn't even know who this chick was. But soon, her name would forever be imprinted in his darkest memories: em style="line-height: 1.8em; color: inherit !important; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important; text-decoration-color: currentcolor !important; clear: none !important;"Courtney Michelle Love./em/p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;"em style="line-height: 1.8em; color: inherit !important; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important; text-decoration-color: currentcolor !important; clear: none !important;" "Ooh, see that guy over there? The blonde one?", Courtney pointed out to her two friends as a twisted grin formed on her lips. "Well, soon, he's gonna be mine." The two girls, knowing very well how good Courtney was at picking up poor unfortunate men, nodded and smiled, secretly relieved that neither of them was the one who had to defend their poor boyfriend from the spoiled little brat./em/p 


	3. Oh yeah, i guess it makes me smile

"Hey, I'm Courtney! You're Kurt Cobain, right, honey?", cooed the blonde girl, twirling a strand of golden hair between two fingers. Kurt clutched tighter onto Dave's hand, trembled a little, and managed to stutter "Y-yeah..." Seemingly not noticing how uncomfortable Kurt was at the moment, Courtney laughed, and it sounded like a dying puppy. "Aww, there's no need to be afraid of me, honey~" "C-could you please not call me honey?", asked Kurt quietly, looking up at her with sad, soulful, blue eyes.

"Aww, you'll get used to me soon, honey!" Great. Dying puppy laugh again. But little did Kurt know that in a few months, Courtney would be pregnant with his daughter. For now, though, Kurt hid behind Dave, who excused the two of them and said that Kurt was just shy. After Courtney bought that, she applied lip gloss and flounced down the hallway, leaving Kurt shivering behind his long-haired brunette boyfriend. "S-she's a n-nightmare...", whispered Kurt, as though he was afraid Courtney had never really left at all and was, in reality, hiding around the corner or maybe behind the water fountain.

"Don't worry about her, princess.", said Dave in a reassuring tone, running a pale hand through Kurt's shoulder-length blonde hair. "Girls like that get knocked up by some poor boy who made a mistake at a party when they're seventeen, and then that poor boy is stuck with them for the rest of his life. Usually they get married, and pretend to be happy, but if you really look in his eyes, you can tell that he had so much more planned for his life than marrying this chick.", Dave continued. Sadly, neither Kurt nor Dave knew just how accurate Dave was with that statement...


	4. entertain us

p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;"It had been a foggy night, and the sky almost seemed red, with a weird light around it and only two or three clouds in the sky. Kurt was bored and Dave was out of town, so Kurt headed over uninvited to some jock in his biology class's party. Not that the jock ever showed up to biology class, but Kurt still always heard his name on the roll call. The party was to be held at the jock from biology class's house: the epitome of middle upper class houses. As he walked in, Kurt could almost have hope, but only almost, because, of course, Courtney Michelle Love had to motherfucking be there. She followed him around all the time. Tonight, her dyed blonde hair was curled, and she wore a red ribbon that matched her lipstick, as well as a short blue-green and white dress that showed off her tits. Sober, Kurt would have been afraid to even go near her, much less impregnate her./p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;" But he wasn't sober. Some asshole spiked the damn punch, and then of course they passed around tabs of acid because it was a dumb high school party. But none of the good soap operas were on, and Dave was at a cousin's wedding or funeral or something, Kurt didn't know, so here Kurt was. And somehow, Courtney ended up looking like Dave to him./p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;" So they fucked in the back room, and Courtney was perfectly aware of how she was manipulating him. She just didn't really give a good god damn. And of course, she didn't tell him to put on a condom because it would be so fucking scandalous if she got pregnant, and then she could trap him, and she never used birth control for that very same reason. When Kurt woke up, he was lying next to Courtney Love, and he wasn't sure whether it was her or the alcohol that made him immediately have to vomit./p 


	5. a denial

p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;"A few months passed very quickly, and before Kurt knew it, Courtney's abrasive, nasally voice was on his cell phone again. How she got his phone number, he'd never find out. Fucking Krist probably gave it to her in return for drugs or a blowjob or something, Kurt thought, rolling his soulful blue eyes. "Hi, Kurttt!", the voice cooed, sounding kind of malicious and bloodthirsty and also making Kurt wince so hard that he smashed into his bedframe and hit his head. As Kurt mumbled a reluctant greeting to his classmate and tiredly walked out to the kitchen of his house to get ice for the stinging bump on his head, Courtney continued gleefully, with Kurt rolling his eyes and getting some strawberry milk. Putting in his mouth about a fourth of the jug, Kurt braced himself for a long and painful conversation with Courtney./p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;""Sooo, remember at that party a few months baaack?" Kurt swallowed his huge mouthful of liquid and spaced out half on purpose, hoping Courtney would take the semi-obvious hint and hasten the end of their little talk. But of course, since she was Courtney Love, she didn't, so he had to continue deadpan. "Uhhh, the one held by that jock from third period biology?", Kurt asked and answered, surprising himself by shockingly remembering what period he had biology class in. "Stephen? Yeaaah, him!", she giggled sickeningly./p  
p style="line-height: 1.8em; color: #333333; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, '.SFNSText-Regular', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgba(252, 252, 252, 0.95); clear: none !important;""So, uh, what about that party?" "We fucked at it, silly!", she grinned triumphantly. Kurt started shaking and feeling as though he was going to vomit. "WE WHAT?!" "Fucked. And now I'm pregnant!"/p 


End file.
